Movie review: ‘Moving Violations’

Sometimes you have to enjoy a movie that is so terrible that you cannot consider what the people on screen are doing can be called “acting” (or you put quote marks around the word). Today I’ll give you one of these with “Moving Violations,” a film from 1985 with a lot of promise and one that falls flat from the first scene. It’s difficult to convey just how crappy this film plays out. Still, like bystander slowdowns after a car wreck, you can watch this one … maybe once.

‘Moving Violations’
(1985; 90 minutes; rated PG-13; directed by Neal Israel and starring John Murray, Jennifer Tilly and James Keach)

REALLY A BAD MOVIE, BUT YOU MIGHT ENJOY IT

(NOTE: I expanded this review with a little additional opinion; some more trivia; and the updating of links on April 9, 2017.)

With a sports analogy I’ll say that “Moving Violations” is a film with good statistics coming into the game. It has a very competent cast, including a rookie with potential; it has a director whose previous film was just the year before with the hysterical “Bachelor Party” featuring Tom Hanks (click here for my review); and it has a creative storyline.

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Further they even had it on movie posters as “from the creators of Police Academy.” Well, I wonder what happened here?

Ahem. None of it happens here. “Moving Violations” is a truly awful film, but like some ugly dogs that are so ugly that they’re cute, it is funny in places and I can imagine several different worse ways you can spend your time than watching it. Please understand that I still enjoy stupid slapstick comedy at any level (especially low) and that my opinion of this one hasn’t evolved because I’ve matured.

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OK, in short about the plot, the characters here are bad drivers caught up in traffic school that is nothing but a scam for the judge and one of the police officers. The bad drivers are guaranteed to fail the class, their vehicles are then sold at auction and the judge and the cop pocket the money. Ouch. A plot it is not.

The leader of the bad-driving pack is John Murray as “Dana Cannon,” a landscaper with a sarcastic sense of humor. Murray, who is comedy legend Bill Murray’s brother, resembles his more famous sibling and sounds like him, but doesn’t measure up to even Bill’s worst performance. For sure he’s likable and the sarcasm is good, but it just doesn’t happen for him – especially since he was most likely looking for this to be his breakout role. Murray had an uncredited role in “Caddyshack” and was in “Scrooged” (both with his brother) and fortunately for moviegoers his acting credits are just 10 and his last film in 2008.

Clara Peller (the Wendy’s “Where’s the Beef” spokeswoman) is one of the gang here and she winds up in traffic school after mistakenly driving onto an airport runway in front of a passenger jet (good plot, huh?). Peller’s one amusing scene is where she sits in a urinal in the men’s room and wonders where the water’s coming from. Peller was in this single film and passed away at the age of 85 in 1987.

The only supporting role of note is by veteran TV star and sometime movie tough guy Robert (“The Wild Wild West”) Conrad. He plays the uptight, by-the-book superior officer who bounces in and out briefly throughout the film. Conrad should have known better and it’s sad a role so small sets the standard here (the role was also uncredited so you can see what he thought of it). Conrad was also in “Murph the Surf” (click here for my review) and TV classics such as “Hawaiian Eye” and “Baa Baa Black Sheep.”

The two rough-and-randy (yes, I meant randy) cops here are James Keach as “Deputy Halik” and Lisa Hart Carroll as “Deputy Virginia Morris.” They’re more than partners although he’s partnering on the side with someone else. Both efforts are wooden and contrived but I don’t blame the actors since this whole film is a mess.

Keach showed his real talent as “Frank James” in the outstanding “The Long Riders” (click here for my review) as well as two years earlier showing how to really play a motorcycle cop in a comedy with “National Lampoon’s Vacation.” Carroll was also in that reprehensible snifflebag “Terms of Endearment” in her brief career of eight roles. Thanks, Ray Romano for the “snifflebag” tag.

The only actual truly funny scene in the film is when the two cops see Murray standing next to a car and order him to move it because it’s parked next to fire hydrant. Of course he refuses and then they plan to write him up for violations such as broken headlights and taillights (which they bust with their nightsticks in order to create the violations). The scene plays out really funny because the car belongs to Conrad. Naturally. Still, it’s the funniest scene in the entire 90 minutes of “Moving Violations.”

The femme fatale here is veteran actor Sally Kellerman, who tries to come off sultry and sexy as “Judge Nedra Henderson” but only manages to look as if she took too many muscle relaxants before shooting began. Sorry, Sally, but you’re not funny or sexy here. Kellerman was also in “MASH” (she was the original “Maj. Margaret ‘Hot Lips’ O’Houlihan” in the movie … the character’s name was changed to “Houlihan” for the TV series and the asterisks in the title were added in the movie posters but not in the credits) as well as “Back to School” (click here for my review) with Rodney Dangerfield.

The plot gets so downright stupid that there’s a scene where one of the bad drivers comes to believe another (played by funnyman Fred Willard) is a medical doctor. He’s not. He’s a “doctor” of cars. She winds up naked on a rack at his shop. Cue the rimshot.

So, watch this one only if by a million-to-one chance it crosses your TV screen and you have absolutely no ambition to change the channel. You can also catch it on youtube.com … if you really want to see it.

Amazingly, “Moving Violations” managed to be the 79th ranked film of the year at the box office with $10.6 million, according to Box Office Mojo. I would have thought it easily was in the triple digits. The No. 1 film was “Back to the Future” with $210.6 million and the No. 2 was “Rambo: First Blood Part II” with $150.4 million. However, “Moving Violations” did manage to beat out the equally dreadful “Gymkata,” which is a film about a champion gymnast in some silly competition/spy game which stars real life Olympic gymnast Kurt Thomas. He’s even worse than Murray is here (if that’s possible). Here are the other films from 1985 that I’ve reviewed:

Assorted cast and film notes (via IMDb.com):

© Chuck Curry and A Gator in Naples, 2014-2017.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without
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